How do leaders save a broken relationship?

Relationship | Quan hệ

Good leaders are constantly cultivating and managing relationships with people at work. Anytime a relationship is strained, damaged or broken, they need to address the problem as quickly as possible. So how can you tell when a relationship has become broken? These are the most common signs:

It’s hard to have an honest conversation: When relationships are in trouble, it becomes difficult to have a normal, honest conversation. If we try to start one, the other person will refuse to engage, or become defensive or combative. They don’t want to hear from us nor talk it out. Maybe they have been so hurt that they can’t handle it.

There’s a lack of trust: When relationships begin to break down, suspicion creeps in. People begin to question our motives. Maybe they feel a sense of injustice or lack of fairness. Whatever trust was originally there begins to deteriorate.

There’s a lack of passion to continue the relationship: Eventually people stop putting in any effort to build back the relationship or to make it work. If we manage to get with them, they are mentally or emotionally withdrawn from us. Even if we’re with them, we’re not relating to them.

When seeing these signs, we should try to repair the relationship. That doesn’t mean trying to get it back at all costs, but to do it with integrity. Below are some of the steps to do it.

1. Initiate fixing the relationship with them: If we have a great relationship and it starts to get strained, it’s our responsibility as leaders to be the first to try to mend it. Invite the other person to lunch or coffee for a talk. That doesn’t mean it always pay off but it’s hard to rescue a relationship if we don’t take the responsibility for initiating.

2. Give them the benefit of the doubt: If there’s hope for helping a relationship come back, the conversation goes better if we’re open and willing to take the blame. Assume we’re on the wrong side by asking: “Have I offended you? Is there anything I can do to make amend?” If people are willing to talk to us what we did, there’s a chance to repair the relationship. Even if what we did wasn’t wrong, we should still apologize for what hurt them.

3. Be willing to walk the second mile: Leaders need to be quick to say “I’m sorry”. We need to be willing to make needed changes. That’s part of leadership. Nevertheless, we can’t always determine the outcome of the attempted reconciliation. There will be times when no matter how much effort we put in, the relationship is never the same as it was before. We should not be held hostage by that. We have to accept that, as leaders, we have the responsibility to be a good steward of our team or organization. We cannot allow our personal feelings of not wanting to hurt somebody keep us from doing what’s best for the organization.

There are many relationships worth saving, but many cannot be saved. We have to be realistic about the relationship and do our best. But sometimes we have to accept that it cannot be saved. We have to be secure in our leadership and give ourselves permission to have a different relationship from what we had before. We might still value the person, but we let them go.

Excerpt from “Good leaders ask great questions” by John C. Maxwell.

Visit www.ELTD.com.vn to know more about ELTD’s leadership  development and personal growth programs by John C. Maxwell.

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ELTD CO. LTD.

407/2 Su Van Hanh, Ward 12 – District 10 – HCMC

Tel: +848 3868 0687

Fax: +848 3863 2539

Website: www.ELTD.com.vn

Email: info@eltd.com.vn

Best leaders know how to retain talents

We already explore the four types of leaders who cause employees to leave. However, the truth is, no matter how good we are as leaders, employees still leave. What we can do is to improve and put our effort in becoming a leader that employees always want to follow. The below actions and behaviors will more or less remind us to become a more effective leader.

1. Take responsibility to build strong relationship with employees: If something is causing the relationship to go bad, take the initiative to amend.

2. Perform exit interviews when employees quit: Similar to job interviews, exit interviews with leaving employees are to find the true reasons why they want to quit the job. If we are the reason, offer them our apology and ask them whether it is too late for them to change their mind.

3. Highly value employees: If employees trust us in the leadership role, that’s a good thing. But it will be better if we also truly believe in them.

4. Consider the trust of employees as the most important thing: Maybe we are not excellent in every aspect, but we must show for our employees to see that we are trustworthy in any situation, at any time.

5. Keep our spiritual health to create a harmonious work environment: Always try to maintain a positive mindset and right behaviors toward employees so that they feel safe to work with us.

6. Cultivate a learning and growing spirit: Keep on learning and growing your leadership ability. When we’re truly confident and mature, we’re no longer afraid that our subordinates will replace us. We will become the leverage for them to reach their full potential, not the rope that ties them down. Do not forget that the ultimate purpose of a great leader with influence is to add values to others.

One of the worst things that can happen for a company is losing its talents. If that happens, do not blame your competitors or employees or any other external factors. The first person to blame is the leaders. To help the company retain talents to achieve the goals and mission, the first thing we must do is to develop ourselves to become more effective leaders.

Adapted from “Leadership Gold” by John C. Maxwell.

Visit www.ELTD.com.vn to know more about ELTD’s leadership  development and personal growth programs by John C. Maxwell.

ELTD-PNG

ELTD CO. LTD.

407/2 Su Van Hanh, Ward 12 – District 10 – HCMC

Tel: +848 3868 0687

Fax: +848 3863 2539

Website: www.ELTD.com.vn

Email: info@eltd.com.vn