How do leaders save a broken relationship?

Relationship | Quan hệ

Good leaders are constantly cultivating and managing relationships with people at work. Anytime a relationship is strained, damaged or broken, they need to address the problem as quickly as possible. So how can you tell when a relationship has become broken? These are the most common signs:

It’s hard to have an honest conversation: When relationships are in trouble, it becomes difficult to have a normal, honest conversation. If we try to start one, the other person will refuse to engage, or become defensive or combative. They don’t want to hear from us nor talk it out. Maybe they have been so hurt that they can’t handle it.

There’s a lack of trust: When relationships begin to break down, suspicion creeps in. People begin to question our motives. Maybe they feel a sense of injustice or lack of fairness. Whatever trust was originally there begins to deteriorate.

There’s a lack of passion to continue the relationship: Eventually people stop putting in any effort to build back the relationship or to make it work. If we manage to get with them, they are mentally or emotionally withdrawn from us. Even if we’re with them, we’re not relating to them.

When seeing these signs, we should try to repair the relationship. That doesn’t mean trying to get it back at all costs, but to do it with integrity. Below are some of the steps to do it.

1. Initiate fixing the relationship with them: If we have a great relationship and it starts to get strained, it’s our responsibility as leaders to be the first to try to mend it. Invite the other person to lunch or coffee for a talk. That doesn’t mean it always pay off but it’s hard to rescue a relationship if we don’t take the responsibility for initiating.

2. Give them the benefit of the doubt: If there’s hope for helping a relationship come back, the conversation goes better if we’re open and willing to take the blame. Assume we’re on the wrong side by asking: “Have I offended you? Is there anything I can do to make amend?” If people are willing to talk to us what we did, there’s a chance to repair the relationship. Even if what we did wasn’t wrong, we should still apologize for what hurt them.

3. Be willing to walk the second mile: Leaders need to be quick to say “I’m sorry”. We need to be willing to make needed changes. That’s part of leadership. Nevertheless, we can’t always determine the outcome of the attempted reconciliation. There will be times when no matter how much effort we put in, the relationship is never the same as it was before. We should not be held hostage by that. We have to accept that, as leaders, we have the responsibility to be a good steward of our team or organization. We cannot allow our personal feelings of not wanting to hurt somebody keep us from doing what’s best for the organization.

There are many relationships worth saving, but many cannot be saved. We have to be realistic about the relationship and do our best. But sometimes we have to accept that it cannot be saved. We have to be secure in our leadership and give ourselves permission to have a different relationship from what we had before. We might still value the person, but we let them go.

Excerpt from “Good leaders ask great questions” by John C. Maxwell.

Visit www.ELTD.com.vn to know more about ELTD’s leadership  development and personal growth programs by John C. Maxwell.

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ELTD CO. LTD.

407/2 Su Van Hanh, Ward 12 – District 10 – HCMC

Tel: +848 3868 0687

Fax: +848 3863 2539

Website: www.ELTD.com.vn

Email: info@eltd.com.vn

How can leaders inspire their team members?

If people see their work they are currently doing as nothing more than a job for a pay-check, they will become frustrated overtime. To be successful, to inspire, we need to keep growing, learning, and expanding our potential.

If the people in your team have settled into their role or position, whether it’s because they are in a comfort zone or because they see their work just as a job, it’s your job as a leader to inspire and help them open their eyes and think beyond today. Help them to realize that a job is never big enough for a human being. Offer them something beyond their job by doing the following:

1. Share your passion: If you have a passion for what you do, you need to share it with your people. A leader’s passion is contagious. It can attract other passionate people and it can spark a flame in people who might not otherwise be passionate. If they can understand and connect with the vision you have and the passion you feel, there is a good chance that they will catch it and become passionate too.

2. Paint a picture of a better future: People often want to make a difference. One of your job as a leader is to paint a picture of their future that inspires them to work harder today. Tell them who they can become. Show them what they could someday be doing. This must be done with integrity, because as leaders, we never want to manipulate people. We just want to help them envision the future.

3. Show how their role makes a difference: Too often people don’t understand how the tasks they do contribute to the bigger picture. Good leaders help team members understand their role. They help them see how their contribution is making a difference. This gives team members a sense of ownership over the mission, and inspires them to do better work.

4. Challenge them to keep growing: H Nelson Jackson said: “I do not believe you can do today’s job with yesterday’s methods and be in business tomorrow.” That’s why we need to help people see the value of growing. It is essential not only for the organization’s viability, but also for the individual’s future. People who make growth their goal – instead of title, position, salary, or other external target – always have a future.

All the above is only effective if, as a leader, you are yourself passionate about your own work. That is essential. People cannot catch fire from a leader who has grown cold. If you aren’t fired up, you are a big part of the problem, and the first person you must address is yourself.

Excerpt from “Good leaders ask great questions” by John C. Maxwell.

Visit www.ELTD.com.vn to know more about ELTD’s leadership  development and personal growth programs by John C. Maxwell.

ELTD-PNG

ELTD CO. LTD.

407/2 Su Van Hanh, Ward 12 – District 10 – HCMC

Tel: +848 3868 0687

Fax: +848 3863 2539

Website: www.ELTD.com.vn

Email: info@eltd.com.vn